Redesign your life with new daily exercises and achieve success. Sometimes we lose connection with our exact wants and needs. We deny them. It is time to put all the cards on the table and redefine our lives.
Enough of criticizing and denying yourself. Now it’s time to review, reconnect, recognize yourself, and redesign your life; because our deepest needs and desires are often hidden under layers of denial. We avoid or block them, most times, so as not to face feelings that scare us.
What is the lifestyle?
These are expressions that are designated in a general way to the style, form, or way in which life is understood; not so much in the sense of a particular worldview or concept of the world as in that of identity, quirk, or a character, particular or of a group. Expressed in all or any of the areas of behavior (work, leisure, sex, food, habits, personal relationships, clothing, etc.)
All of us, at one point, have had to consider a major life change and all the difficulty, risk, even fear that it causes us. And the real reason it is so difficult is precisely because change involves work, uncertainty, and a certain – or perhaps a big- level of discomfort.
Things to consider to make the change
1) Change is a cost equation
What this means is that, at a given moment, the change presents two possibilities: change or remain the same. And the equation is simple, even if the circumstances are complex: we only opt for change if the cost of doing so – time, effort, risk, stress, etc. – is less than the cost of staying the same. Therefore, even if you want the change and know what you want or need, you will not do it if you think it is more difficult to do it than to continue as before.
2) The opportunity to change is not a one-time thing
Sometimes we feel pressure to redesign our lives for whatever reason. Faced with extreme circumstances that mark a strict deadline, we have to face it, but in most cases, we put pressure on ourselves: we have an opportunity or a fear, and we decide that we must make the transition right now.
While the idea here is not to keep putting off a change that you know you want and need, it is also important to understand that in many cases, there is not just one opportunity to make it.
Maybe now seems like the right time, but if you really feel unable to do it right now, it doesn’t mean that you have lost future possibilities of doing it. Sometimes, it takes a little more time to become confident and prepared. By taking appropriate action, you can guarantee a better result than would have otherwise been the case.
3) Allow yourself to play with the idea of a change without having to commit to it
Suppose there’s something that continually bothers you trying to come to the fore. In that case, it’s okay and healthy to acknowledge it. Even ask yourself, “Well, if I did this, what would happen? What would you have to do to make this happen? What’s the worst that can happen? And if the worst happens, how am I going to deal with it?“.
This allows you to work on the feeling, idea, and scenario and understand better what this change in life would really mean for you. There is power in reflection, information, discovery, and strategy. We do not want to obsessively fall into this. Still, the funny thing is that when we really face what this change could mean for us and our lives, we can come to a more realistic consideration of what it would mean.
Even talking about it with people you trust can help in this process, as long as they really understand you and want you to succeed in your life.
4) Connect deeply with what it means to NOT make this change
Change always represents the unknown, at least to some degree. But if we are continually struggling with a situation, the feelings, thoughts, and circumstances of that struggle become familiar.
This can block us and prevent us from understanding the damage that the current situation does to us and others. Ask yourself: What difficulties am I experiencing right now because things don’t change? How would I feel and live if I resolved this situation? What other things that I want am I not doing because of this situation?
The idea is not to blame yourself or force yourself to change but to really connect with what it can bring you if you achieve it: peace, happiness, or success.
5) Set a deadline for your decision
Suppose you have been considering the change for a long time or causing significant harm to you and your environment. In that case, even if there is no imminent deadline, you can choose to put one. Again, it’s not about pushing yourself before you’re ready.
But if you can’t set a deadline to make the decision, at least set one to deeply reflect on why you are not pursuing the idea. What this does is help us become aware of the fact that life and time are unlimited. It creates a real recognition that this need for change is still present and even causing some kind of suffering or damage. It allows you to reflect on what might be the appropriate way to move forward.
Setting a deadline is fine if you are not ready because having the courage to face it and follow some of the steps mentioned means you can regain a certain sense of power and peace by taking charge of your life, even if you are not making the change of life you want.
6) Have faith in yourself and connect with that faith
Often what blocks us in these moments is whether we are really capable of making this transition and dealing with the consequences. And that’s an important thing to consider. However, life has curious things. It doesn’t matter how you feel right now. You will probably feel differently in the future. Even if you don’t want to. Remember that things are never just the way you imagine them.
Think that you are stronger than you think and that there are circumstances and resources beyond your knowledge and control that will help you if you decide to seek them; that the ability to succeed, regardless of the difficult external circumstances, is actually an option to work on yourself, go through the steps to find help and learn and continue to work to achieve what you want; that no matter how much fear and worry you have about this change, because it may not be as difficult as you think. Once you are in it, you will find answers.
10 steps to make a change in your life
Accepting our most personal, genuine needs and expressing them in a way that is appropriate to our situation is a process of knowledge and growth. These steps can help you redesign your life in the best way:
1. Fire your characters, Redesign your life
The first step is to realize to what extent we have blocked what we want. The therapeutic process consists of taking them out of the room one by one until they are alone with themselves. You have to start by realizing the roles, stereotypes, and beliefs that are not allowing us to express who you are.
For example, we may have convinced ourselves that to be responsible, we cannot fail or rest because that would make us lazy or “non-compliant.”
2. Accept yourself: the pleasant and the unpleasant
For genuine desire to arise, we have to accept our capabilities and limits, the pleasant and unpleasant. To the extent that if we realize who we really are, we will get closer to asking for what we need without stereotypes.
We tend to criticize ourselves when emotions such as anger, envy, or fear arise because we think we should not feel them. Thus, we demand ourselves to be as “we think we should be,” and we lose all the richness of what we really “are.” So it is important not to constantly criticize or correct ourselves.
3. Find help, Redesign your life
To get to know what we need or want, sometimes the help of other people or professionals is necessary. We do not believe ourselves to be self-sufficient or omnipotent and accept it as a way to grow.
Accepting that you have limits is an important step in finding yourself. Many times, it is the first step.
4. Imagine you already did it
Most of the time, we know what we do not want; we know that we do not like our relationship, we know that work is boring and that we do not want to continue. But to be able to ask, it is necessary to know what we want and build a positive internal image.
Then it is necessary to see what things we have to do to get there. To do this, it is useful to fantasize that we have already achieved what we want as a way of knowing where we are going.
5. Discomfort is a necessary step, Redesign your life
In periods of change, there will be spaces of confusion and impasse in which the old schemes that served as support no longer work. The person does not trust in being able to assist themselves. In those moments, we would prefer to avoid growing up because we are afraid of the unknown and can even deny our own desires.
The only way out is to sustain the discomfort and know that it is a necessary step to change. It is essential to trust the self-regulating tendency of the organism. The calm will return by itself, and, in addition, we will be closer to our true goals.
6. Go to practice
There is a time when we have to work for what we want – without waiting for any further reasons. Let us accept then that we are new to what we are trying and that we require a learning period.
Let’s enjoy the process of achieving it, avoiding focusing only on the end goal, or we will lose the experience of living.
7. Don’t protect yourself. Don’t isolate yourself, Redesign your life
Human beings need to be concerning of their environment to satisfy their needs. We cannot do without contact with our environment because it would be self-destructive.
Many times, to protect ourselves, we renounce contact with others, take a little risk, isolate ourselves, and still, the fulfillment of our wishes always involves improving our relationship with our environment.
The simple fact of accepting that we cannot live alone and that we need emotional contact is a definite step to avoid feeling isolated.
8. The normal thing is to be wrong, Redesign your life
When we start a new path, a change of life, another way of being in the world, it is normal that we make mistakes. Often, success will not depend on doing the perfect things at the right time, but on being persistent.
We can almost always rectify, especially if we are open to admitting mistakes; also knowing which path we are not interested in.
9. Look at it with different eyes, Redesign your life
As we materialize desires, there is likely to be a readjustment of our perception of the world. Perhaps now we have different desires, perhaps we value other things more, surely the impediments are less important obstacles.
Let us be aware that all this is normal, and that it is a sign that we are maturing. Let’s open ourselves to that new perception of the world. Suppose we see ourselves wanting completely different things. In that case, we should not see them as a contradiction or a betrayal of the past. Everything we tried and accomplished before has allowed us to get to where we are now.
10. To wish again, Redesign your life
The reality is that we are constantly changing. What does this mean in terms of wishes? That, once our needs are satisfied, new ones will arise.
It is important to enjoy working towards our wishes, to be content with our personal search. So, when we make a wish, we can do it knowing that this is not the definitive solution: it is to take life in the present as an exciting adventure, it is to enjoy the work at hand, it is to appreciate the little things that we have and the things that we make.
Now that you know everything you can do to redesign your life, you can begin to make significant changes and be successful.