How to detect a toxic person. People are social beings by nature. This need for exchange not only stands as a wonderful source of well-being, but it will also provide us with valuable lessons, such as detecting toxic people. Therefore, we need to be very attentive to our interactions.
Likewise, we cannot ignore an important aspect. These types of dynamics turn off our vitality, generate stress and mental discomfort. No one is immune from their behavior.
The good news is that in this article, you are going to learn how to spot toxic people and deal with them to avoid getting carried away by their attitudes.
Toxic people: people with abusive behaviors
Toxic behavior is widespread in almost any setting in our society. We focus on the term “toxic behavior” for a reason that needs to be clarified in the first place. These types of people affect the climate of companies and even productivity. They create very exhausting relationships.
7 characteristics to detect toxic people
Given the popularity of the term “toxic person”, sometimes we do abuse a little of it. It is not enough that the coworker is always in a bad mood, it is not enough that someone gives us a refusal at a given moment or throws a specific criticism at us.
Detecting toxic people requires taking into account a series of very specific characteristics. Some of the most prominent are:
a) They are people without any kind of empathy.
b) They are selfish, manipulative, and conflictive.
c) They only think about themselves and their needs, without considering the feelings of others.
d) They do not care how their words and actions negatively influence others.
e) They love to take the role of victim.
f) They are emotional destroyers based on constant criticism, fear, guilt and negativity.
g) Instead of building, they destroy.
h) Instead of trying to grow and improve, they seem to try to drag others into their emotional sewers.
It is a type of pathology in which it seems that they enjoy making others feel bad. That is why their favorite victims are people with low self-esteem since that is how they seem to feel superior. For this reason, how to identify a toxic person is simple: they are incapable of appreciating or valuing anything, they are experts in finding defects in everything and everyone. It seems like nothing is good enough or everything is wrong.
5 smart ways to deal with toxic people
Each one of us, individually, can change, we can make the effort to improve what we dislike. But we cannot change others. That is something we cannot forget when dealing with toxic people. With people like this, we can only do two things: avoid them or confront them.
Many people prefer to run away from toxic people, but when you have no choice but to deal with someone like that, it is best to do it wisely. After all, toxic people always find a way to spread their negativity, infecting others, creating a bad environment, and ruining the moment.
Toxic people defy the logic of personal relationships. In fact, some, although unconsciously on most occasions, are happy creating a negative impact on others. Others get satisfaction by creating chaos at reaching a chord with other people. Either way, toxic people unnecessarily create complexity, conflict, and stress.
1. Before toxic people, emotional intelligence. How to detect a toxic person
Studies long ago showed that stress can have an irreversible and negative impact on the brain if the stress lasts for several weeks, it ends up damaging neural dendrites. If it lasts for several months, stress can destroy neurons permanently.
Thus, either through negativity, cruelty, or victimism (among other strategies), toxic people cause in the brain of others a state of stress that requires intelligent emotional management to disappear. The key to acting intelligently against toxic behavior is to cultivate the ability to handle your emotions and keep calm under pressure.
2. Ignore toxic people who seek your attention. How to detect a toxic person
Toxic people do not carry a badge that allows us to identify it. However, we all know well who around us is a source of conflicts and discomfort. We know the damage they can cause. We also know where they attack us. You know who is looking for you, and you also know that they can find you. And when they find you, right there, in that same place, you know you are lost.
Yes, for reasons like this, where you can not avoid that toxic person, try not to fall into your network. Ignore them. You know they are going to look for your attention to see what they can provoke.
Do not let yourself be entangled. That they do not find you. Do not let yourself get affected by the interruptions, comments, or actions. Be benevolent. Be patient. Submit as little attention as possible. Hold your tongue if you need to not make the poison part of you. Be assertive if the time has come to mark a limit.
3. Do not assume a toxic behavior: Avoid contagion, how to detect a toxic person
The main characteristic of the toxic is that it is contagious. That happens with toxic people: it becomes a contagious attitude. If you respond with toxic behavior, you will have lost the battle. Although the toxic person gets off your “feel guilty” button is not all lost. Maintaining serenity before its worst poison -the inoculation of guilt- is possible.
That it is possible does not mean that it is easy to ignore the attention calls of a toxic person. In fact, a usual strategy of toxic people is ridiculing their target in public when they do not get a direct confrontation if they have not opted for this way first.
4. Brand and defend your limits. How to detect a toxic person
You must know that the attack of a toxic person does not undermine your dignity. Therefore, you do not have to defend yourself from your arguments, but leave the limits clear. If you get defensive, you demonstrate that they can offend you. If you mark the limits, you are making it clear that they can not attack you.
You have to leave things clear, with a left hand but firm touch, leaving your authority clear in those decisions.
Keep in mind that to establish a limit you will have to do it consciously and proactively. If you leave things to happen naturally, you will be forced to find yourself constantly involved in difficult conversations. If you establish limits, you can control much of the chaos caused by a toxic person.
5. Practice practical compassion. How to detect a toxic person
As we have seen, with a toxic person we can take an attitude of attack, a defensive position, or simply ignore them. In fact, it sometimes makes sense to be sympathetic with toxic people. Maybe they are going through a difficult time in an emotional situation that they do not know how to manage effectively.
True, it is not fair that they burden others with their pain. Nor is there personal relief in making others feel bad. However, deep down, there is not always evil, rancor, or anger towards your person in the toxic behavior of others.
Now that you know how to detect toxic people and deal with them, you can guarantee an optimal mood during the day and avoid letting you carry on the negative attitudes of these people.