How to deal with troubled people? It is very difficult for irascible and irrational people not to lose control in the middle of an argument. Still, there are tricks to calm them down and ensure that their temporary anger does not affect us.
We all come across a family member, friend or coworker, curiously almost always the bosses, with a moody, strong, and violent character. They often lose their temper, and we get involved in pointless arguments where it is practically impossible to make the other person see reason.
When we have to deal with people with irrational behaviors, our brain activates the fear response center. This part of the brain cannot tell if a hysterical customer is yelling at you or a nervous dog is threatening to attack you, so everything will depend on your ability to activate your conscious mind to calm the situation.
Not all people react the same way to the same responses or attitudes, but it is advisable to practice specific techniques to get out of this difficult moment. They are those used by medical professionals when someone is apparently out of control.
Why do problem people behave this way?
People are social beings by nature. This need for exchange not only stands as a wonderful source of well-being, but it will also provide us with valuable lessons, such as detecting toxic people.
Likewise, we cannot ignore an important aspect. These types of dynamics turn off our vitality, generate stress and mental discomfort. No one is immune from their behavior.
Toxic behavior is widespread in almost any setting in our society. We focus on the term “toxic behavior” because that needs to be clarified. This designation should focus above all on the manifest behaviors of each individual.
These types of people affect the climate of companies and even productivity. They create very exhausting relationships.
How do you deal with this type of person?
Many strategies can help you deal with troublesome people. Here are a few that may work for you:
Step number one in having a conversation with anyone becomes more important for someone irritable and irrational. When we listen, we really focus on what the other person is saying and not on what we want to comment on next. If we ignore what someone says in a temporary rage and then ask us to give an opinion, our neglect will only increase their anger.
2. Keep calm, how to deal with troubled people
When we find ourselves in a highly emotionally charged situation, it is difficult not to get carried away by the heat. Controlling your breathing with slow and deep inspirations or counting internally to ten or a hundred if necessary will help us not to end up as nervous as the other person.
3. Don’t judge
We usually have no idea if something happens to them in their personal life that makes them lose their temper easily. Try to understand the background of that person’s mood without directly calling them alienated.
4. Be respectful, how to deal with troubled people
Regardless of how the other person is treating you (within limits, of course), “showing contempt will never help you resolve the situation productively,” says Markway.
5. Look for the ulterior motive of their behavior
Ask yourself what this person is trying to gain or avoid in this moment of hysteria. Perhaps their performance does not do more than lead you to distraction.
6. Look for accomplices to help you, how to deal with troubled people
There are probably other people present at the show: find allies who can help you. The “warn security” that they say in the movies but making use of those around you.
7. Don’t criticize him for his behavior
If someone is upset, nervous, and unable to calm down, repeating that they are getting out of hand is counterproductive and will only increase their anger. Now, in addition, they will feel humiliated, and it will be your fault.
8. Don’t agree with them like crazy, how to deal with troubled people
Saying ‘I get it’ usually only makes things worse. They probably do not understand themself to be teased with false empathy. It is much better to expand information with an “explain to me more so that I can understand better.” As you argue, it may ease the spirits.
9. Avoid smiling
If you put on a smile, it may seem like you are making fun of the person. Humor can sometimes relax the mood, but depending on who you’re talking to and what comments you’re making, it can further complicate the situation.
10. Don’t get defensive, how to deal with troubled people
When someone verbally attacks us by saying unpleasant or untrue things, it is very difficult to control ourselves. Still, if you get down to their level, you will enter an endless loop. Do not take it personally. Remember that the drama does not go with you.
11. Don’t respond in anger
Raising your voice, pointing your finger at the other person, or responding disrespectfully only adds fuel to the fire.
12. Keep your distance, how to deal with troubled people
In aggressive and violent moments, even verbally, it is best not to be too close to the other person if the anger literally gets out of hand. Trying to calm them down by putting your arm over theirs is also not a good idea. When someone is already upset, it is better to avoid physical contact, as it could be misinterpreted.
13. Avoid “I’m sorry.”
Although you may be responsible for the reason for their anger, you are certainly not responsible for their behavior. Directly taking the blame with an ‘I’ll fix it now” when the other person has already lost their nerves can lead to it becoming personal. Stay calm and wait for it to pass. This time, victimhood will not save you.
14. Set limits, how to deal with troubled people
Stay calm, let them talk, understand their anger… But don’t let yourself be trampled. When we face a person who is too nervous, we must make them see they cannot go overboard, of course, with all the education and tranquility that we can. Including a “please don’t talk to me that way” will do you well.
15. After the storm; discharge tension
Talking to someone will help you get rid of the accumulated stress after the argument. You can get rid of the accumulated adrenaline by going for a walk, running, or going out for something to eat. Do not let emotions build up in your body, or you will end up being the one who has an outbreak of anger to the minimum.
Problematic people are everywhere, and all of us must learn to deal with them. In this article, we detail the best tips to learn how to deal with problem people so that you can maintain a good attitude and not get carried away by their negativity.