Complaining is useless: Learn the consequences of complaining. Complaining can become a way to relieve us from stress, lighten our mental burden, and facilitate it. Likewise, it can help us connect with other people who share our concerns or listen to us.
However, complaining also has some negative effects that can seriously affect our performance, growth, personality, and even our future. The good news is that in this article you can learn the consequences of complaining too much.
But first, what is complaining?
Complaining is an action that people take when they feel sad, upset, sorry, disappointed, or when something or someone does not like or annoy them.
All people have a habit of complaining, to a greater or lesser degree. Sometimes it’s just to vent, and sometimes it’s just out of habit.
Why do people have a habit of complaining about everything?
Many people have an annoying tendency to complain about anything, people to whom we listen say something bad that has happened to them, something bad they have seen or felt, something that seems unfair to them, etc. The core remains the same: complaint about whatever. But why do people complain?
If your attitude is one of constant complaining, you will create a kind of filter; through which you will only see the most negative part of things, and you will stop seeing the most favorable part. The good of a situation may be much greater than the bad, but if you want to complain about something, without a doubt, you will always find something to do it.
A good example of this is those people to whom, after complaining about something, you remind them of the good part. And their answer is, “yes, but …”.
If you continually focus on the complaint, you will attract all the negative that happens near you; precisely because that is what you are paying attention to. We tend to focus on what confirms our beliefs. If that is what you look at, that is what you will have.
The complaint creates a negative mood. As it cannot be otherwise, being aware of the worst part of things will cause anger, frustration, and sadness at the very least. In fact, people who complain a lot are almost always in a bad mood and live in permanent bitterness.
In addition, complaining all the time produces a waste of energy that we could use in other more useful things. Like looking for solutions, for example. Some studies claim that complaining negatively affects the health of our brain. Undoubtedly, all people have certain desires, certain preferences, or expectations. We have them. We know they do not always help us and that they are often the cause of us living with some problems, but there they are.
Negative consequences of the complaint
When we complain, we have negative consequences we are sometimes not aware of:
- We promote a negative state of mind when this happens. We are more likely to interpret what happens to us more negatively.
- We create an unpleasant atmosphere among our friends, colleagues, partner, acquaintances, or family.
- Those around us get tired of us, avoid us because we are not good company. They will have less desire to meet with us. Would you choose to have coffee with someone who does not smile and who complains about everything?
- It makes us passive because while we complain, we do not resolve.
- We don’t learn new ways to approach problems.
- Complaining stresses you and those who hear it or “suffer” from it. And remember that stress affects our health.
What benefits does not complaining have?
Stop complaining, start communicating in another way. It brings us many advantages:
- We promote a more appropriate state of mind and more health.
- We are active, in disposition to solve the habitual difficulties in our work and our life.
- Family, friends or colleagues will enjoy our company more.
- We reduce the appearance of negative emotions such as jealousy, envy, discomfort, nervousness, or sadness.
- It encourages us to accept and understand what we have to change since instead of complaining, we can look for solutions.
- It encourages us to take responsibility for the things we say or do instead of blaming others
How can we avoid falling into complaints?
1. See what you are complaining about, complaining is useless
This happens by practicing mindfulness, by self-observing your mental speech. You can put your focus there for a while.
We invite you to pay more attention to that grumbling and your way of channeling that disagreement for a week. Just listen to yourself.
2. Observe what others are complaining about, complaining is useless
See what they complain about and how they do it. See what moves you, how it affects you. Our relationship with others is one of the main ways of learning. Don’t try to change them, just practice “ear out” without judgment.
Even if you can stop complaining or do it more constructively, it is also important to know how to manage the external complaint since it affects us.
That witness consciousness that unfolds with mindfulness helps you to dis-identify from your speech and also from that of others. Probably from your vision you relativize that which is a cause of discontent for others and that will help you in your own process.
3. Think about what you are going to say (or write), complaining is useless
Probably now that you know how harmful the expressed complaint can be to you or those around you, you can modulate the message a little more. That awareness, that pause before acting, is the one that mostly deactivates the automatism.
Keep an eye on your WhatsApp messages, especially in groups, they are especially polluting because they reach more people. You have the power in your hands to spread the good or the bad wave.
4. Relativize, or not. Complaining is useless
Become aware of how important this that bothers you is. It may be an unfair situation maintained for a long time at your work or your baby may have a restless night.
You choose how much cortisol and for how long you want to have it circulating through your body. The best way to get out of the complaint at work, act, the best way to get out of the complaint with your baby, breathe.
5. Take responsibility and act, complaining is useless
Transform that sterile, polluting, and paralyzing complaint into action that promotes change from a more constructive perspective. Exercise your responsibility in your plot and make it easier for others to take charge of their own. If you have followed the previous steps, we trust you will be able to do it from the assertiveness. Perhaps at this point there is no longer anger, there is no longer a complaint and we can call it to that action: complain, disagree, ask, explain, suggest, express, etc.
Are you complaining a lot? Do you have people complaining about everything around you? Tell us in the comments and make an emotionally ecological gesture by sharing this article with whoever you think may need it.
Now that you know the consequences of complaining too much, you can review yourself and work on this attitude to begin growing and developing in the right way and achieving the success you want.